Just a short update

I know its been awhile since I posted something.. I have been pretty busy with work and with Jennah...

First of all I would love to say congratulations to Amy, Dan and Lorelai.. I am so happy for them as the Jacob family grows... :-) Best wishes and heres to a smooth and healthy pregnancy.......

Adam graduated the academy on the 5th. I wasnt there to help celebrate but Jennah was. He recieved the JP Strom award which means he was the highest graduate in his class through out the whole state.. For his accomplishments his departement gave him a 2009 Crown Victoria Squat Car and a visa gift card... Put all of the stuff we are going through aside, I am very proud of him.. I couldnt say that enough.

Jennah is doing pretty good.. Her ear surgery was rescheduled to January 9th. It was supposed to be the 4th but something happened with her insurance so we had to reschedule...

Yesterday I decided to dye my hair back to brown.. I love it.. I dont know why i never kept it this way......

Well.... I guess thats all the updates I have for now... And of course I blog wouldnt be a blog without some new pictures.. So here ya go...

The New Hair Color::::

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was a challange but It turned out to be a good day. I spent the day with Adam and his entire family.. He had tons of family come in from Illinios and Ohio... The challenge was that his family didnt know what happened. Adam didnt feel like it was the best time to tell them that we had seperated. I agreed b/c I think it would have ruined some of their thanksgiving.. Especially his grandmothers.. She is such a sweet person and loves Adam very much. I love her ver much. It was really sad b/c she had made us a christmas tree skirt and when I recieved it I had to hold back all of the tears... I just smiled and gave her a hug... Boy that was hard. Here are 2 pictures I took on Thanksgiving...

On Friday the entire family went bowling... That was tons of fun as well... I posted this picture b/c Jennah looks so cute in her pick tales... The bottom picture i posted b/c It shows her 2 bottom teeth (well kinda)..

She's growing up.. :-)

I can't belive I have been so caught up in my mess that I didnt post a blog about Jennah....

Jennah finally has a tooth.. LOL I know she's alittle late getting them but I guess better late than never.. Its really cute to see one little tooth there... She wont let me take any pics so when I can get her to sit still I will take one...

Also on Wednesday Jennah started crawling... Now thats the cutest thing I have ever seen.. :-) Now that she is mobile she is getting bruises more.. But I know thats the part of growing up and I know she's going to get tons of bruises in her life... And as soon as I can get a video I will video tape her crawling....

I will try to stay on top of Jennah's progress...

Halloween Pics

So Amy was right and I totally forgot to post pictures of my Snow White on Halloween.... So here she is..... Thanks Amy!!!!!!

Tears Of Anger.....

So I thought the past 2 weeks were hard but the other day while talking to Adam I finally asked him why he was so unhappy with me and what she did for him that I didnt do. Well as he was telling me I was getting madder and madder.. I was getting mad at the whole situation and I was just getting so angry with him and what he did..

So now instead of having tears of pain, I have tears of anger.. I have never thought in my life that I would be as angry with him as I am right now.. It kills me so much that things with him and i will never be the same.. I will never get those goodbye hugs and kisses again, I will never have my inital by my stocking at Christmas, I will never feel his hearbeat next to mine, we will never have those midnight talks... My list can go on and on... But the most important one is we will never be able to raise our daughter as one.. These past few days has been really tough.. Now all i can think about is that stuff and now I sit here and think "why in the world am I being punished?" "what did i do to deserve this pain?" People keep telling me that I didnt do anything and this is not my fault.. But I just cant help but think that.. If its not my fault then WHY? Why is this happening? So If anyone has any answers please feel free to share..

New Pictures

A few months ago the day care had Teddy Bear Photographers there to take all the kids pictures.. On Friday they came back and of course had to buy the whole package.. LOL...

They turned out great...

Heres my little model.. :-)

Pain.....

I feel like a fool but love has taken over everything that has happened.. I have talked to him and I told him that I am willing to put what happened behind us and for us to move on.. Yes trust is going to be an issue right now but i think we can work on who we are and work on us... I know I shouldnt want to think this way.. I should just say "F" him and move on.. But Adam has my heart.. He has it unconditionally.. People make mistakes and for him this was his mistake. I am willing to forgive him.. But sadly he doesnt feel the same way.............

I knew this weekend was going to be hard but I never knew it was going to be this hard... He came over on Friday to pick up Jennah and just seeing him was a dagger in the heart.. He ended up staying for an hour so we can talk.. We shared some tears and also shared some laughs.. He keeps telling me that this whole thing is hard for him too... He wishes we could just say "Ok lets work it out".. but reality we cant.. I know he's hurt about what he has done.. He shows it and I feel it.. I feel every bit of pain he feels.. It was good to even being able to laugh with him. Even though the pain was still there.. We promise eachother that we will be great friends and stay that way for Jennah's sake. He keeps telling me that he doesnt want me out of his life.. I just cant be his wife.. He was unhappy then and he doesnt want to walk back in when he isnt sure if he will ever be happy with me again. I respect him for that.. But I just wish he would atleast give us a try.. I am willing to work on things and take him back after what has happened and he's not..

So my heart is shattered in millions of pieces and i need someone to come put them back togther for me

Please Mind Your Business

I am really annoyed that people can not mind their own business. I had to delete my latest blog b/c people want to talk.. It just annoys me that people want to talk about my life and want to make a huge issue about me posting a blog about my divorce.. All I have to say that Its my life and please stay out of it... and these people know who I am talking about....

Amanda's Bachelorette Party

Last night I was able to have some me time and hang out with some friends.. It was Amanda's (my boss and friend) bachelorette party. We first went to her friend Heather's house to eat pizza and have a few drinks.. After Heather's we went to Brick City Grill. I had tons of fun and found my new favorite drink.. Its called Grape Ape and boy was it yummy. It taste just like grape kool-aide. So after Brick City we left and went to wild wing's.. I rode with my friend Chris so I can drink (I'm not a big drinker and when I do it hits me hard.. LOL). Well we stood around for a few mins waiting on Amanda to arrive when one of her friends got a call saying that she went home.. Poor thing got pretty sick and went back to Heather's. The funny thing was, it was only 11pm when she called it a night.. She swore up and down that she was going to be going all night.. But oh well. I had tons of fun and I am sure if she knew I was posting about her getting sick she would smack me.. LOL... So of course here are some pictures from the night...

7 Random Things

My friend Leza tagged me on her blog and so now I need to post a blog about 7 random things about me.

Here I go......

1. My favorite time of the day is sunrise. Around 5am. This time of day is so peaceful.

2. Adam and I are high school sweethearts and dated 9 years before getting married.

3. I am terrified of fire and fire truck sirens.

4. I did no get my drivers license untill I was 22 and my first car was a Grand AM

5. Besides my husband I do not have a best friend.. Just many great freinds.

6. Hopefully one day I will live back in New Jersey where I am from or Chicago where Adam is from. I honestly miss it up there very much.

7. I was named after a actress named Kristy McNickel

Fall For Greenville

This post is late but I guess its better late than never..

Last weekend Jennah and I went to Fall for Greenville with my friend Jen and her kiddos... We went on a Sunday thinking the crowd wouldnt be that bad.. but in reality it was bad.. We were even there when everything was closing up. I had a few friends that went on Saturday and they said the crowd was crazy. You couldnt move.. Even tho the crowd was bad we had a good time.. It was nice to get out and hang out with a friend.

Of course I took some pictures of the night but they didnt turn out that well.. I do have this one picture of Jennah and I and than Jen emailed me pictures of the babies playing..

Jennah and her friend Andrew... Sorry about the red eyes....

Crazy Baby

Last night I went to go check on Jennah while Adam and I were watching a movie... When I first walked in the room i didnt really see her in the crib.. But as I walk further in the room I was able to see her.. She was sleep with a blanket around her face and neck and her one leg up on a stuffed animal.. Now I know thats not the safest thing but It was pretty funny. I had to go run and grab my camera and said to myself this is going to be a blog.. LOL

Here is picture number 1

About 45 minutes later I go and check up on her again and notice she was just about in the same position but her other leg is propped up on another stuffed animal.. In the picture above the Minnie Mouse is sitting up and the picture below Minnie Mouse is down and her leg is on it... I tried to take the picture with no flash and the picture ended up really red.. I had to edit the red out and thats why its looks so bright in the room. The lights are actually off..

Pictures

My Weekend

So the craziest thing happened to me on Friday. After work I text Adam to see if he can talk.. Well he called me right away and we talked for about 5 mins. I was on my way to his parents house to spend the night. He told me that he was able to leave campus for a little while so he was on his way to Wal-Mart. He also kept on asking me what me and his mom were going to be doing that night. I swear he asked me like 5 times. Well when I got to his parents house I stayed for a few mins and than Adam called me again. We talked for a few mins and than i decided to leave Jennah with his mom and I was going to run home to get my dogs..

When i got to my house I noticed there was a white unmarked police car.. The same car that he drove down to the academy with. I just smiled and shook my head.. I walk into my apartment and there he was.. LOL I was SUPER excited that he was home. He told me that he will be able to come home every weekend. He just doesnt know what time he will be leaving each weekend. Like one weekend he might come home early Friday and than the next weekend he might not be able to come home untill Saturday. So it depends.. But that doesnt matter to me.. Atleast he will be able to come home on the weekends.

Today I attempted to take some pictures of Jennah as a "photographer".. They didnt turn out the way I would have liked but I did manage to get some great shots. I guess I just have to keep practicing.

Tomorrow (Monday) will be a short day for me.. I get off at 3. The only bad thing is that I have a doctor's appoinment. So its not like I'm getting off to have fun.. LOL

Just a few days away

Adam leaves on Sunday and I'm already having hard time dealing with it.. I think I'm having a hard time dealing with the fact of it.. I know he will be gone only 9 weeks total. I know many woman go without seeing their husbands for months or even years.. I should be greatful its only 9 weeks. I think the hardest part is I wont have the help that I need.. His parents did say I can stay with her if I want and I am totally greatful but I am seriously going to try to stay at home... I might stay with her for a few nights but really I'm not sure. And here I am venting about him leaving for weeks but on the reality he will be gone for the first 2 weeks where he can not come home.. After the first 2 weeks he can come home on the weekends.. So Its really not that bad.. LOL this post is all over the place.. One minute I'm venting about being upset he is leaving and than the next I am saying it wont be that bad.. Actually what I am doing is trying to convince myselft that it wont be that bad. We'll see.. I'm sure I will be posting how sad I am on Sunday........................

Today Is Jennah's 6 month check up.. Poor baby gets shots. I also have another appointment this afternoon so I will be takeing Jennah to day care for a few hours.. I hate to do that to her but I kinda have to..

So I'm going to get ready...

Adam, Chuck E Cheese and Frankies

Adam once again told me a different date that he is leaving for the academy. He is leaving Sunday Sept 28th.. Thats supposed to be a for sure date.. LOL

Jennah is getting better.. Adam took her back to the doctor last Thursday. The doctor said that her right ear is still infected so she put her on a new antibiotic. This one seems to be working great b/c she is back to eating.. The only thing is that she has been alittle crabby. I dont know maybe she's teething.. She is bitting everything and drooling.. .So maybe thats it.. The doctor did put her on some eye drops b/c her eyes are always full of goop. She has had the goop since she was born. The doc said its clogged tear ducts. She told me massage under the eyes and stuff.> So have but nothing has been working.. She finally decided to put her on some drops and they are working good.. Her eyes are clear. I dont know if its b/c she is put on a new antibiotic but she still has thrush. Today has been the 10th day of the antibiotic but I think I am going to keep giving it to her for the next couple of days. It seemed to be going away but as soon as she started this new medicine it came back. So I dont know. We'll see how it is in the next couple of days.

Last week I had a birthday party to go to at chuck e cheese. I invited Brittany to come with. Well I think we had more fun than the kids. LOL I guess we made the best of it.. Since Brittany is tiny she rode the little rides with Jennah on her lap. It was pretty funny. Also yesterday Jennah had her first experience at Frankies. We met some friends there to play some games and then we went to dinner. Jennah seemed to love all of the lights and just kept on watching everyone walk by. She is so observant now. I love to watch her look at people. She is learning so much and I know she still has her whole life ahead of her...

New Date

The other day work told Adam that his academy date has been changed.. So instead of leaveing on October 20th, he is actually going September 21. It makes me really sad b/c i guess he's has to go either way.. Sooner or later.. It just happens to be sooner than later..

Once again I had to take Jennah to the doctor today. This morning I noticed some white stuff in her tongue and than I saw some on her upper lip.. I just knew it was thrush.. She is on 2 antibiotics. It was bound to happen. So now the poor thing is on 3 different antibiotics. I feel so bad for her.. She goes in for a check up on the 15th and thats also her 6 month check up... So that means she gets shots... I hope Adam can take her.. I cant stand to see her scream like that..

I've been slacking

I've been kinda busy for the past week or so...

To start it off last Tuesday I took Jennah to the mall to get her ears pierced. They are really cute and I need to post a picture of them... And what a trooper.. Poor thing screamed as they were getting done. I wished they were able to do both ears at once but they couldnt.. Their was only 1 person working.. But its ok.. She cried for just a few minutes.. I actually felt bad so I went to The Childrens Place and got her a few outfits.. LOL...

The next day at school Jennah was really fussy and not acting like she felt very well.. She also was not eating at all.. I kinda had to force feed her so she would have something in her stomache.. That night Brittany and I went to dinner and ran to Target.. While we were in Target Jennah looked so sad and I just knew something was wrong.. After I got back to my in-laws (Adam and I were dog sitting for a few days) I took her temp and she ended up having a 101.3 fever. Thats when I decided to take her to the doctor in the morning.. Well I gave her some tylenol and than she went to bed... The next morning she felt really warm so I took her temp again.. It ended up being 101.8. I gave her some tylenol and than tried her on bottle... She drank like 4oz and seemed fine. I got her dressed and as soon as we were walking out the door she threw up.. When we got the doctor her fever didnt go down any.. And thats b/c she threw up the tylenol. Anywho the doctor said she has a double ear infection. I feel so bad for her b/c this is her 3rd ear infection in 3 months. The doctor put her on a different antibiotic and also put her on Zantac. She is trying to find out why she keeps getting ear infections.

So far so good.. She is feeling better.. Starting to finally eat.. Today she has been takeing her bottles with no problem and she is finally eating her baby food with no problem. I hope this is her last ear infection.. I would hate for her to have to get tubes...

So outside of those few things there's not much going on. Saturday I went to Amanda's bridal shower (Amanda's my director/friend from work). That was a lot of fun.. I always tend to have tons of fun at those things.. I was talking to Brittany the other day and I was telling her how much I would love to become an event planner. But I dont know.. Thats something to consider...

Just Like Her Daddy

I had to take this picture of Jennah napping with her daddy today.. It was the cutest thing b/c they were sleeping the same way... And ssssshhh lets not tell him that I posted this picture.. LOL he might get alittle upset