I feel like a fool but love has taken over everything that has happened.. I have talked to him and I told him that I am willing to put what happened behind us and for us to move on.. Yes trust is going to be an issue right now but i think we can work on who we are and work on us... I know I shouldnt want to think this way.. I should just say "F" him and move on.. But Adam has my heart.. He has it unconditionally.. People make mistakes and for him this was his mistake. I am willing to forgive him.. But sadly he doesnt feel the same way.............
I knew this weekend was going to be hard but I never knew it was going to be this hard... He came over on Friday to pick up Jennah and just seeing him was a dagger in the heart.. He ended up staying for an hour so we can talk.. We shared some tears and also shared some laughs.. He keeps telling me that this whole thing is hard for him too... He wishes we could just say "Ok lets work it out".. but reality we cant.. I know he's hurt about what he has done.. He shows it and I feel it.. I feel every bit of pain he feels.. It was good to even being able to laugh with him. Even though the pain was still there.. We promise eachother that we will be great friends and stay that way for Jennah's sake. He keeps telling me that he doesnt want me out of his life.. I just cant be his wife.. He was unhappy then and he doesnt want to walk back in when he isnt sure if he will ever be happy with me again. I respect him for that.. But I just wish he would atleast give us a try.. I am willing to work on things and take him back after what has happened and he's not..
So my heart is shattered in millions of pieces and i need someone to come put them back togther for me
Kelly Korner Book Club
9 years ago
Posts
3 comments:
First of all, you are NOT a fool. This is the person you spent the last 11 years of your life loving. You can't be expected to forget all that the instant he makes a terrible mistake. I'm so sorry to hear he isn't willing to give it another try, but it is better than him coming back knowing he will mess up again because honestly, people who cheat usually do it again. And if that's what would happen, I know you wouldn't want to go through all this pain over and over for the rest of your life. You WILL heal from this in time and you WILL find happiness again. You are in my thoughts and prayers. *Hugs*
Hey Kristy. Christina is right you are NOT a fool. Love is one of the best and worst things in the world. When it's great; it's really great. When it's bad; its so bad you cant stand it. You are not expected to be strong all of the time and never have fears or emotions. Continuing with your friendship is good for his relationship with Jennah and could be good for you too. But give yourself space and time to heal. You're a great mother Kristy and right now that's all that you need to worry about. You are always in my thoughts. Keep smiling. it always heals my blues.
Kristy,
If he is unwilling to patch things up then you deserve someone better. You deserve someone who will give you his heart entirely and who will love Jennah just as much. You need someone who is devoted to you completely, not someone who is only around because you desire him to be there. We are all here for you and we all love you and the Jennah bug. :)
Thanks for inviting me to view your blog. I appreciate you confidence in me and my discretion.
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