Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was a challange but It turned out to be a good day. I spent the day with Adam and his entire family.. He had tons of family come in from Illinios and Ohio... The challenge was that his family didnt know what happened. Adam didnt feel like it was the best time to tell them that we had seperated. I agreed b/c I think it would have ruined some of their thanksgiving.. Especially his grandmothers.. She is such a sweet person and loves Adam very much. I love her ver much. It was really sad b/c she had made us a christmas tree skirt and when I recieved it I had to hold back all of the tears... I just smiled and gave her a hug... Boy that was hard. Here are 2 pictures I took on Thanksgiving...

On Friday the entire family went bowling... That was tons of fun as well... I posted this picture b/c Jennah looks so cute in her pick tales... The bottom picture i posted b/c It shows her 2 bottom teeth (well kinda)..

She's growing up.. :-)

I can't belive I have been so caught up in my mess that I didnt post a blog about Jennah....

Jennah finally has a tooth.. LOL I know she's alittle late getting them but I guess better late than never.. Its really cute to see one little tooth there... She wont let me take any pics so when I can get her to sit still I will take one...

Also on Wednesday Jennah started crawling... Now thats the cutest thing I have ever seen.. :-) Now that she is mobile she is getting bruises more.. But I know thats the part of growing up and I know she's going to get tons of bruises in her life... And as soon as I can get a video I will video tape her crawling....

I will try to stay on top of Jennah's progress...

Halloween Pics

So Amy was right and I totally forgot to post pictures of my Snow White on Halloween.... So here she is..... Thanks Amy!!!!!!

Tears Of Anger.....

So I thought the past 2 weeks were hard but the other day while talking to Adam I finally asked him why he was so unhappy with me and what she did for him that I didnt do. Well as he was telling me I was getting madder and madder.. I was getting mad at the whole situation and I was just getting so angry with him and what he did..

So now instead of having tears of pain, I have tears of anger.. I have never thought in my life that I would be as angry with him as I am right now.. It kills me so much that things with him and i will never be the same.. I will never get those goodbye hugs and kisses again, I will never have my inital by my stocking at Christmas, I will never feel his hearbeat next to mine, we will never have those midnight talks... My list can go on and on... But the most important one is we will never be able to raise our daughter as one.. These past few days has been really tough.. Now all i can think about is that stuff and now I sit here and think "why in the world am I being punished?" "what did i do to deserve this pain?" People keep telling me that I didnt do anything and this is not my fault.. But I just cant help but think that.. If its not my fault then WHY? Why is this happening? So If anyone has any answers please feel free to share..

New Pictures

A few months ago the day care had Teddy Bear Photographers there to take all the kids pictures.. On Friday they came back and of course had to buy the whole package.. LOL...

They turned out great...

Heres my little model.. :-)

Pain.....

I feel like a fool but love has taken over everything that has happened.. I have talked to him and I told him that I am willing to put what happened behind us and for us to move on.. Yes trust is going to be an issue right now but i think we can work on who we are and work on us... I know I shouldnt want to think this way.. I should just say "F" him and move on.. But Adam has my heart.. He has it unconditionally.. People make mistakes and for him this was his mistake. I am willing to forgive him.. But sadly he doesnt feel the same way.............

I knew this weekend was going to be hard but I never knew it was going to be this hard... He came over on Friday to pick up Jennah and just seeing him was a dagger in the heart.. He ended up staying for an hour so we can talk.. We shared some tears and also shared some laughs.. He keeps telling me that this whole thing is hard for him too... He wishes we could just say "Ok lets work it out".. but reality we cant.. I know he's hurt about what he has done.. He shows it and I feel it.. I feel every bit of pain he feels.. It was good to even being able to laugh with him. Even though the pain was still there.. We promise eachother that we will be great friends and stay that way for Jennah's sake. He keeps telling me that he doesnt want me out of his life.. I just cant be his wife.. He was unhappy then and he doesnt want to walk back in when he isnt sure if he will ever be happy with me again. I respect him for that.. But I just wish he would atleast give us a try.. I am willing to work on things and take him back after what has happened and he's not..

So my heart is shattered in millions of pieces and i need someone to come put them back togther for me

Please Mind Your Business

I am really annoyed that people can not mind their own business. I had to delete my latest blog b/c people want to talk.. It just annoys me that people want to talk about my life and want to make a huge issue about me posting a blog about my divorce.. All I have to say that Its my life and please stay out of it... and these people know who I am talking about....

Amanda's Bachelorette Party

Last night I was able to have some me time and hang out with some friends.. It was Amanda's (my boss and friend) bachelorette party. We first went to her friend Heather's house to eat pizza and have a few drinks.. After Heather's we went to Brick City Grill. I had tons of fun and found my new favorite drink.. Its called Grape Ape and boy was it yummy. It taste just like grape kool-aide. So after Brick City we left and went to wild wing's.. I rode with my friend Chris so I can drink (I'm not a big drinker and when I do it hits me hard.. LOL). Well we stood around for a few mins waiting on Amanda to arrive when one of her friends got a call saying that she went home.. Poor thing got pretty sick and went back to Heather's. The funny thing was, it was only 11pm when she called it a night.. She swore up and down that she was going to be going all night.. But oh well. I had tons of fun and I am sure if she knew I was posting about her getting sick she would smack me.. LOL... So of course here are some pictures from the night...

7 Random Things

My friend Leza tagged me on her blog and so now I need to post a blog about 7 random things about me.

Here I go......

1. My favorite time of the day is sunrise. Around 5am. This time of day is so peaceful.

2. Adam and I are high school sweethearts and dated 9 years before getting married.

3. I am terrified of fire and fire truck sirens.

4. I did no get my drivers license untill I was 22 and my first car was a Grand AM

5. Besides my husband I do not have a best friend.. Just many great freinds.

6. Hopefully one day I will live back in New Jersey where I am from or Chicago where Adam is from. I honestly miss it up there very much.

7. I was named after a actress named Kristy McNickel

Fall For Greenville

This post is late but I guess its better late than never..

Last weekend Jennah and I went to Fall for Greenville with my friend Jen and her kiddos... We went on a Sunday thinking the crowd wouldnt be that bad.. but in reality it was bad.. We were even there when everything was closing up. I had a few friends that went on Saturday and they said the crowd was crazy. You couldnt move.. Even tho the crowd was bad we had a good time.. It was nice to get out and hang out with a friend.

Of course I took some pictures of the night but they didnt turn out that well.. I do have this one picture of Jennah and I and than Jen emailed me pictures of the babies playing..

Jennah and her friend Andrew... Sorry about the red eyes....